Simplemente...Blah!

I'm homesick...again. (Well, what'd you expect?? I have been away from home for almost 8 months now!!) These last 2 days have been awful! Probably some of it has to do with the fact that my dad turned 57 yesterday (and having finished that stupid book, "The Notebook"...Blah!) Anyways, I can't help but think...57 is so old! What am I doing here instead of spending time with him?

I spent all day Friday fighting the urge to mope in bed all day. Instead I did everything I could think of to cheer myself up...shopped (bought 3 adobe baked breads), did the dishes (I like it when it looks all sparkly afterwards), studied Spanish, went to work, and even smiled at all the passerbys on the streets--but then stopped when the men just started jeering at me and saying things equally as lewd. (This used to cheer me up in the states when people would return the smile and just say "hello." So simple, but really, try it for when you have bad days.)

Not to sound like a quitter, but I first started this Peace Corps thing, I never imagined that I'd be here this long. I always thought that I'd be sent home for medical reasons (for a while, I was convinced that I would get SARS) or for the inability to learn Spanish. But now, 8 months later, it's beginning to sink in that I'm here for the long haul and that I won't see my family and friends until freakin' AUGUST 2011. OMG!! (Capital letters, underline, underline, bold bold!!) I know that this realization should have hit me sooner, but anyways...

So, in case you're thinking of referring me to the Peace Corps suicidal prevention hotline, don't. Rational Katie does realize how lucky she is. I do have more good days than bad, but you understand, being away from people who genuinely care for your well-being is hard. One of my Peace Corps friends just came back from visiting her family in the US. While I know I have the option to do that, I don't think I ever will. If for nothing else than just the memory of my father standing at the door at 4 a.m. with heavy rain waving good-bye to me on the day that I left. I don't think I can have another memory like that again.

On the upside, I may have found an NGO who may be interested in working with me on opening up a student soup kitchen here. I interviewed with them last week and turned in my Business Plan for a grant application, still working on filling out the application in Spanish, and then hopefully, I'll be able to to form a board for the project, meet with the municipality if my grant application is approved, and then be able to oversee the operation. Lots of "ifs," I know, but I'm optimistic...Well, on most days anyway. :)

P.S. I uploaded a picture of my father and sister, just because we're in a melancholy mood... :( And because it cracks me up how freakin' happy my dad looks to be horseback riding.